Thursday, June 28, 2012

After a few LONG weeks of battling a abscess in his right front, seemingly his favorite hoof to get an abscess in and be three legged lame on. Rhett is finally trotting around the paddock and being his ole self again. You have no idea how relived I am about this. Even though I "know" it is an abscess when it happens. And I "know" how to treat it. Thanks to my wonderful Standardbred race horse trainer friends, the Higgins Family, I still go into a bit of a panic every time it happens. And yes, it sadly happens frequently.
He has a toe crack. And has had this since I got him. If he goes one day too long between trims. It gets bad. And some times it will be weeks between when he "should" be trimmed next to when he "is" trimmed next. And yes. I have issue with this , and it is being corrected as I type.  I do have to mention though how grateful I am that h is, well Rhett. An ex race horse. I can do anything to him, with the exception of giving oral wormer, without him being haltered. Spring and fall shots? As long as he has food. No problem. Clean his boy parts? Hay equals a perfectly behaved 16h Thoroughbred. Grooming? Again he will stand still.

But even with the pain of the abscess, he remains his normal, fun self. I bend to take off his leg wraps. He grabs the back of my shorts.Or drops hay or grain down my shirt. I finish my hoof wrapping and grooming for the day and take a break leaning on his stall door. He comes over and pulls on my pony tail. Make the "mistake"; for some reason he has never liked it when I wear a baseball cap, of wearing a baseball cap? He will try and either grab the rim or the back and take it off my head with his lips. I dont wear one often, since he really doesnt seem to like it. And like my Idah, if he is still into his feed. I dont worry. It's when he doesnt show interest in his food that I WORRY. I will stay with him on those days and take his temp and OBSESS. Luckily he has only gone "off his feed" once. And it was fleeting.

Anyway. Now that I can relax a bit about him... onto the shows! Not horse shows. FCZ designs has it's first event next weekend. July 8th. At the Endicott Estate in Dedham MA. It is the annual BSAAC Show. Antique and classic cars. We are going as a vendor. A new small business. Well, more of a hobby at this time than a business. Since we don't know how viable this will be. Anyway. We will be bringing just over 70 t shirts. Screen printed by hand. My own designs, from my own photos and art work. On tee's.

My mom has been after me for years to do something with my talent. And I am finally doing something. I am hoping it becomes something that will allow me to work from home and give me enough income moving forward. Since the economy stinks(especially in my area) And I am really tired of building someone elses business with my knowledge and experience. (only to be let go on the fly)
I have done research. Am taking some Ivy League college marketing classes online. Planning on taking more classes as well. :) and hope that I can make this work. This first even will tell some. But not all. Since I have more designs and such that are not car related. I have horse, dog, artsy stuff as well. Plus there are the penney tees that my daughter and husband love. So I have been emulsing, drying, inking and printing and curing tee shirts for the last month and a half. And creating as well. That is the harder part. Since the zombie tees are out of my comfort level. Yes, zombie tees. Well zombie animals that is. Zombie horse. Zombie mouse, Zombie rabbit. Healthy I have no problems with. But OMG drawing an un healthy animal. Especially a horse. Was difficult. The work came out nicely. But it bothered me. I will wear one come Halloween.. but that's it. I prefer my other designs for the rest of the year.

 After the BSAAC event we will be at the Mass Cruiser event on August 18 at the Cracker Barrel field in Wrentham, MA. And the weekend after that on the 25th at the same location, but with a craft fair.  So please stop on by. If you can't check out our website at www.FCZDesigns.net

M

Monday, June 4, 2012

I love my horse. There I said it. I LOVE MY HORSE.
I don't mind going out in the cold wet rain. I don't mind heading out in the heat, with the flies buzzing around and the sweat dripping off both he and I. I dont mind going out in the snow to feed him and clean frozen poop balls from his stall.  Why? Because I love him.

I have had Rhett(aka RockNMerle) for 7 years now. I bought him without meeting him or riding him. Never mind vetting him.
I saw some pictures of him on the Canter PA site. Dreamed about him and called his trainer the next day.
He is a retired Thoroughbred race horse. He had some other training before I bought him. He had been used as a "pony" horse for younger horses that were still racing. That alone says TONS about his personality. But I didnt know it, or care about it when I bought him, over the phone. I didnt try to haggle his trainer on his cost. $800 I didnt ask if he was sound. Or healthy. Or sane for that matter. All I knew is that I had dreamed of him. And he was mine. That was all that mattered. So I told her " I am sending the money tomorrow. Do not sell him to anyone else" And I did just that.

The month.. seemed like longer than that, that it took to get him from PA to MA was horrible for me. But some how I knew he knew I was waiting for him and he was going to be ok too. I remember walking into the pitiful barn the night he arrived. He had arrived earlier than I had been expecting. But it was dark out. It was February in New England. It was cold and dark out. There was little light in the barn. Same for the stall. But he was in there happily eating his hay. Like he had been there his entire life.

Now, for a race horse you would think . Yeah,, moving from barn to barn is normal for them." But not so for Rhett. He had raced primarily at one track his entire career. And had been in the same barn and stall. Off season he went to the farm. And was in the same barn and stall there as well. So a move to someplace new was not his "norm" But he was calm. I was calm. He was "home" He was with me. Where I knew he should be.

We have moved a few times since that first night. I have ridden him a handful of times. He is 16h. And I am well, short and older. I dont have that spring or bounce anymore. But it's ok with him. I brush him. I hang out with him. We talk. Well I talk. He listens. Then I listen.
He understands. No really. He UNDERSTANDS. I first discovered this when I was brushing him one afternoon and the light from the sun was leaving. I was in the process of picking his hooves clean and was on his right side.  We have no light in the stall(long story, day light savings time SUCKS)  I was talking to him and mentioned that I couldnt see his hooves on that side because of the lack of light.  Then he did an incredibly un Rhett thing. He snatched his hoof from my hand and stepped away from me. I scolded him and went to pick up his foot again. But he wouldnt let me hold it. So I stood up and looked at him. He looked back at me. Blew his nose out at me and took another step away from me. Then looked at me again. He had moved his body closer to the open part of the double door. Where there was still light filtering in. He had made it so that I could see what I was doing! I hadnt put a hand on him. Or asked him to move over. I had commented and HE MOVED!  Now, why this surprised me I dont know. He once took out a fence pole that was part of an old telephone pole(thick) instead of trampling me to get away from an attacking horse. Witnesses told me that they could "see" him think ""I can not hurt her"" Before he dove through the partially opened gate. He suffered a nasty bruise on his chest and shoulder. But I was unscathed. I just remember having him on the lead. Seeing the bay gelding coming at him with teeth bared. Thinking "Shit!" then Rhett standing next to me. Lead still in my hand. Him shaking and favoring his leg.  This was after the summer we spent hand walking around the stable yard because he was three legged lame from a bad trim on his feet that left an abscess the size of the Grand Canyon. We are soul mates.

Yes. Soul mates. And no. My husband does not mind that I feel this way about my horse.  There are different kinds of love. I love my husband. I love my daughter, just as intensely. But in a different love. This is the way I love my horse. I am lucky to have him. People say that you only get one "Once in a lifetime" horse. I have been blessed with not one, not two. But three. Although he is my first gelding.

There was Ida (Idaho Moonshadow) aka Tank. And Misty(Misty Morning)  My girls. My loves. My best friends. They passed over the rainbow bridge years ago. But that is how I think I found Rhett. You see. Ida was a mud brown App. Seriously. I used to call her Idaho Potato.  But she had this golden colored spot on her left rear haunch.
Misty was a gray and white pinto. But she had a brown splotch... on her left rear haunch. As I brushed Rhett's winter coat out that first spring, a golden spot appeared. On his left haunch. Add the freeze brand MS on his left rear. And yes. He was meant to be mine. That was just a sign. A sign that I should take a look at the 16h Gelding Chestnut Thoroughbred. Ex Racehorse, A sign that my girls had found there way back to me. And like they had so many times. He now listens to me. My best friend. My soul mate. My Rhett.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

   Quick update as to where I have been.
March 8th I was laid off from the job that I thought would be mine til I retired, if that ever happened. It blindsided me. Although in retrospect it really shouldn't have. You see. I was hired as a replacement. The woman I was replacing "left" because her husband began working nights. And she wanted to work nights as well. To be with him. Her kids are older. So they didnt need her during the day so much .. yada yada yada. So I was hired. Trained. Taught. The whole nine yards. But she never really "left" She worked part time. She kept a coffee cup on one of the desks. She came to the holiday party. She didnt special assignments for the department manager. Then after the holidays,, she began working more days. More hours. I saw this. But I thought "Hey. They just gave me this HUGE account and have been grooming me to take this account from start to finish. All the way through. I've been here past the "trial period" I am here on time every morning. I work thru my lunch with no complaint if needed. I stay late. I come in early when asked. I am a hard worker. A reliable worker. they know this. they appreciate this. I am loyal. Well. So were they. To the employee that had "left" them.
Her husband went back to working days. She missed him. She was unhappy with her night job. That she had left them for. So after work on a Thursday. They asdked to speak with me. I was told the company was "going in a different direction" and that my position " was now obsolete" 
I cried. Not in front of them. I cleaned out my desk. Forgot a few things that in the end are not important at all. And I drove the 10 minutes to the barn to feed my horse and clean his stall. I cried there. Into his mane. Then I got into my Hyundai and drove home to tell my husband that I had just lost my job. I was destroyed. I loved that place. loved the work. Loved the customers. Loved my coworkers. loved the short commute. And I was let go because the woman that left wanted her job back.
A month later I was surprised by a text from a co worker there. Her husband had been laid off. As had the other co workers husband. And the woman who got her job back because her husband went back to day shift? Well, her husband went back to working nights. And it gets better. His job? Now over an hour away in another state.

Now. I am not saying that these women deserved this. Well maybe the one did ;) And I know that they werent the ones to make the choice between myself and the woman that originally I was replacing. But I am hoping that this rather swift turn of events actually began with the top people in the company. the ones that DID what they did. Yes. I am bitter still. After several months. And I will admit that it is odd for me to still be upset about this. After all. I am a survivor of having my parents divorce,when I was old enough to know what was happening. And I let that go rather easily. Forgiveness and all that. And I forgave my first husband for cheating on me so blatantly. Let that go  as well. But this? I am still angry. Why? Because I was HAPPY.

I had been driving home crying tears of happiness for months working there. After working at the hell hole I had been in for the previous nearly 2 years, this place had been heaven. I had given them everything. I had been HAPPY there. really . Truly. Happy. And it was gone. Because someone had changed their minds. Regretted a decision they made. So I was out of a job. One of the millions on unemployment.

I started out strong on interviews. But nothing panned out. I was told I was "too educated" "too skilled" which, in this economy equals "too expensive" "What will stop you from leaving when the economy improves?" Um Loyalty! I was told, after an extensive phone interview, that I was "perfect" for a position at a well paying job. They sent me a computer generated "test"  It was a personality test of sorts. The computer decided that I was not a good fit for the company, based on my answers to two "pages" of multiple choice questions.
 Never mind the skills base. The extensive knowledge base. The experience. Nope. The computer said I wasnt a fit. *That company is STILL looking to fill that position*

So with the freedom. And the pittance of money that I get from the department of unemployment every week. I have decided I have had enough. Enough of being the frontline of other peoples business's. Enough of building relationships with their customers. ie building the business owners bank balance.  I am tired of working for someone else and being their employee on day to day, whim basis.
I have an education. I have experience. I am older, wiser. Or so I have been told, since these things are keeping me from being hired.
** Did you know that the age of 40 is now when you become protected against age discrimination? Ya do now! 40 isnt old!!!**
So I am starting my own business. Building it slowly. Very slowly, since I have bills that I am responsible for. And the money I get weekly barely covers them.

I have been told from the time I was a child that I have a gift. I can draw. Seems it runs on my fathers side. He could draw a cathedral on a napkin. My Aunt Doris had been accepted into an art university out of high school. But didnt go. instead she married my uncle.

My mother has been after me for YEARS to do something with my talent.  Photography, which I delved into last year when I was sick was a HUGE step. Now that I have time between sending out my resume in a fruitless attempt to find work beyond min wage. I have been sketching out those photos. My mom and her husband have been so supportive. They have given me money to get a screen printing machine and supplies. So I have been emulsing and burning screens. And inking Tee shirts! I can not tell you how awesome it is to see your own art work on a piece of clothing! I gave one of the original t's to my mom. I now have a box full of t's that we are going to bring, as actual vendors, to the BSAAC Endicott Estate car show July 8th.  We have a tent. We have hang tags coming.  I am hoping. Praying that they sell well. My wonderful husband Sean has been working on the website. Check it out at www.FCZDesigns.net
Yes, those are MY DESIGNS! MY WORK! Eventually I will have them available on my Etsy store as well. It's supposed to rain next week. So I will aim for then on getting them up over there. I want. Need this to be my full time job. I want to get so big that I cant print the t's myself, but have to outsource them. I want to do the bigger events all the time.

I was hoping to be able to get into Equine Affair this November. But as we are just starting out, I dont think that they will be interested in us. So this fall we are going to try and do smaller events and craft shows. Next year we are aiming higher. Comic Con and such, with the penney t's and zombie t's.  The Massachusetts Tattoo Convention in March with the zombie t's. Some horse shows and events with the horse t's.  And maybe next year EA.

I have also already garnered some design and printing jobs from local business's. One which will be wearing the shirts at Devon(big horse show event) Other is a local daycare.  So this has some potential. As long as we move smartly. And we will.

Funding though is a hassle. I would love more inks. Oh the colors! More platens. More screens. More blanks(t shirts) Another screen printing set up. More emulsion etc etc etc.
I have tried. TRIED crowd funding. Crowd funding, I have discovered only works if you:

1) Have an already established business presence and just want it to grow some more.
2) Have A LOT of supportive family, friends, co workers, neighbors and acquaintances.
3) Have a huge network that stems from your supportive family, friends etc etc
4) Have a project that  * you are making/building/doing something that is going to help a foreign country grow food.   A pet get surgery. A new video game. Or fund some kind of ""make it a better world"" type of movie/documentary/film/book or podcast.*

If you don't have one or two, or any of the above.... crowd funding is not going to work for you.  Oh and you can hope someone stumbles upon you all you want. I have to say though I was happy to see that "Slutty Chick"" that was looking for free money so that she could go out partying. Didn't get a penny. Even though she promised video of herself having a good time on your dime. *rolling eyes*
My sense of humour, although intact would have not dealt with her getting money well at all.

So. I am putting money on my own horse now. It's on me. I want to make something. For myself. For my family.
 I want to show my daughter that with hard work and loyalty you CAN get somewhere in life. My whole life to this point has been about working my hardest. Giving my all for what ever company I was getting a paycheck from. And being un appreciated for it. I can tell you.
I APPRECIATE the hard work I AM putting into the rest of my life. I hope that others see my work and do as well.


Martha